.Murphey's Law.: Archive

4 tags

May 16th

6,009 notes

Watch

laurakvstheworld: i honestly feel 100% better after watching this

May 16th

29,895 notes

2 tags

May 16th

121 notes

4 tags

May 16th

9,936 notes

1 tag

May 16th

9,881 notes

May 16th

629 notes

May 16th

5,310 notes

May 16th

562 notes

May 16th

232 notes

May 16th

27,270 notes

May 16th

1,711 notes

May 16th

14,280 notes

May 16th

15,391 notes

May 15th

55,951 notes

2 tags

May 15th

2,102 notes

May 15th

887 notes

May 15th

4 tags

Mom: ok, I'm leaving
me: Ok. Love you, bye!
mom: Be sure to remember your homework, alright?
me: I know, mom.
mom: Don't just sit around watching Teen Wolf.
me: I won't.
mom: Alright. See you in a couple of hours.
me: Bye.
 *Mom leaves*
me: 
me: 
me: 
me: *turns on Game of Thrones*

May 15th

9,504 notes

2 tags

May 15th

38,156 notes

1 tag

Avengers Deleted Scene #3

ladyhistory: LOKI: WOOOOOOO NICK FURY: DAMMIT STOP FOGGING UP THE GLASS AND DRAWING PICTURES IN IT LOKI: THIS IS A PORTRAIT OF YOU NICK FURY: IT LOOKS LIKE A HOT DOG WITH AN EYEPATCH LOKI: EXACTLY. NICK FURY: I’M GOING TO RUN OUT OF WINDEX YOU TWATMUFFIN LOKI: *MOUTH ON GLASS* LOOK I’M A STINGRAY NICK FURY: STOP IT LOKI: BUG-ON-A-WINDSHIELD IMPRESSION NICK FURY: GET OFF THE DAMN GLASS ...

May 15th

2,013 notes

The following quotations are taken from official...

Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
Witness: "I only have one, you know."
 -----
Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
 -----
Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
 The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
 -----
Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "July 15th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."
 -----
Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
 -----
Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."
 -----
Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness: "I forget."
Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
 -----
Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."
 -----
Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
Witness: "My name is Susan."
 -----
Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
 -----
Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."
 -----
Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
 -----
Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
 -----
Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
 -----
Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
 -----
Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
 -----
Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
 -----
Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
 -----
Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
 -----
Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
 -----
Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
Witness: "None."
Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
 -----
Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
 -----
Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
Witness: "Borofkin."
Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
Witness: "I can't remember."
Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
 -----
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
Witness: "No."
 -----
Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
 -----
Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
 -----
Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
 -----
Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
 -----
Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
 -----
Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."